Monday, January 12, 2009

I am the Weaker Brother

When I was attending Bible college in the 1980s, one of my fellow students was an older man (older to me then; he was in his 30s) who was working as a minister of music at a local Assemblies of God (AG) church. As part of his religious practice, one of the things he abstained from was going to the movies. I don't believe it was official doctrine of the AG that you couldn't attend movies, but the clergy at the church where this man worked had agreed they wouldn't do so.

I thought that was quite excessive. "Well, what about G-rated movies, can't you watch those?" I asked. He replied that, if someone saw him going into a movie theater, someone who had a weakness for watching sinful movies, then that person might use it as an excuse to continue with their bad behavior -- that he would then be causing his weaker brother to stumble.

The idea of avoiding behavior that may "cause the weaker brother to stumble" is found in various places in the writings of St. Paul. "...if food causes my brother to stumble, I will eat no meat forevermore, that I don't cause my brother to stumble." (I Cor. 8:13)

For a long time, I always thought of the weaker brother as someone else -- newly converted Christians who haven't yet shed their worldly ways, or people with histories of addiction. Now I realize that it is I who am the weaker brother. It's me who Saint Paul was concerned about. Me who is prone to stumble.

Without Christ, I am the alcoholic, I am the batterer, I am the licentious voyeur...and all the rest. Without Christ, I would be living in the gutter if I were still alive at all.

I am often amazed at those outside the Church who are able to carry on such fine lives. They manage their money well -- own their own homes, eat all their vegetables, send their kids to good schools. I wonder what force it is that constrains them to such discipline. Love of family perhaps? Insecurity or fear? Vanity? I don't know. I only know that, for me, my natural state is one of self-absorption, leading to self-indulgence, depravity, and ultimately chaos.

It is only in Christ that I am able to love -- truly love. And out of that love, act.

But back to this idea of weakness. Human weakness is an insidious thing, perhaps the most insidious thing there is. I was recently reminded of this by some disturbing behavior on my part, bordering on the sociopathic. I never set out to do something sociopathic. I didn't sit down one day and say to myself, "I'm going to start acting like a sociopath." However, after a period of time of slowly, incrementally, allowing this behavior to take hold, I found myself mired in something very ugly.

It was then I realized that I am the weaker brother. I also realized that my "sociopathic" behavior was born of many other personal behaviors that I had allowed to get out of control.

Drinking, materialism, sexual lust (I say "sexual lust" because there are other lusts as well), sloth, among other personal sins, had clouded my mind. But how did I manage to get so ensnared in these things again? You see, I have many times in my life repented, changed my ways, cleaned up my act. And yet, there I was again, wallowing in the muck.

There's a passage of scripture where Jesus talks about a man having been rid of an evil spirit and then the spirit returns, bringing with him other spirits, only to pollute the man's soul all over again -- worse than before. Now I've always struggled with the exact meaning of this as it pertains to me. I don't believe I am possessed. But I do know that, without being spiritually on guard, I do fall prey time and time again to my vices. And that there are spiritual forces that subtly whisper in my ear in order to hasten such a fall.

The idea of it being "the brother" or the fellow Christian who makes one stumble is a sad one. One in which I am sure the devil takes great glee. I have Christian friends (brothers) who drink too much, who engage in casual sex, who are arrogant and self-serving, and probably most common, who are materialistic and live to acquire. When I see these behaviors I, the weaker brother, begin listening to the voices saying: "It's ok to do this or that; everyone else is doing it. Look at so-and-so, they're doing it and they're no worse for wear." And slowly over time, I give in here, I give in there, and it is only Christ who is able to reach his nail-scarred hand down and pull me up, knowing that I will only fall again anon.

I have no great answer for those like me. Only remember to pray for God's protection and also remember that our true paradigm is Christ. Look not to the person on the left nor the right. Only look to Christ.

In Him,

The Weaker Brother